To live intentionally, you must surface your values – not
the ones you think you should have, but the ones you really do have.
Our values are our deeply held beliefs about what is right
and good.
Values drive our behaviours, whether we are conscious of them
or not.
Many people adopt the values articulated by their parents,
organisations or institutions. But when they are not also conscious of their
own personal values and the connection between their values and what they
espouse, they are often only superficially committed to them. The values
support a self-image of who they want to be, not necessarily who they are, and
don’t hold up during times of stress. This is one of the reasons we see values
breached so often – where we are surprised by the incongruous behaviour of
someone we respected.
We are all values-driven. The question is whether it’s
consciously or unconsciously.
When you are conscious of your values:
- You can challenge beliefs that no longer serve you.
- You can make intentional choices about your actions, rather than being driven unconsciously by them.
- You can be intentional about choosing relationships with people who share our values.
To surface your personal values, take time out for
reflection. Identifying your values is not a mental activity – we care deeply
about our values and become emotional when we connect with them.
Ask yourself questions like:
- What do I care deeply about?
- What would I stand in front of the bus to defend?
- What do my actions say about what I really value?
If you believe something is a value but it’s not guiding your behaviour, it’s not a real value … it’s simply a “good idea.”
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