Have you ever had anyone tell you that you were trying too
hard to succeed? What is it about trying too hard that just doesn’t seem to
work?
Now, don’t misunderstand what we are saying. We are not
saying that it is a mistake to put your energy into something, or that you
shouldn’t try at all. But we are saying that there’s a point at which we can
try too hard, and when that happens we tend to get in our own way.
Why do you suppose that is? Here’s what we think. All of us
have a self-concept or self-image – our idea of what we are like. And, we don’t
have to think about behaving like the person we know ourselves to be. It is
something we do easily and effortlessly.
For example, if you see yourself as an outgoing person, you
don’t need to work at being outgoing, correct? It just happens naturally. And,
if you see yourself as shy, you don’t have to be reminded to be shy when you
are in a group.
But what happens when you try to behave in a way that
contradicts your self-image? “That’s not like me,” you think, even if it’s a positive
change. And, you go back to behaving like the “real” you as soon as possible.
Now, it’s a fact that all meaningful and lasting change
starts on the inside and works its way out.
So if you want to be different than the way you are now, first work on changing
your self-concept. You can use affirmations and visualisations to help you do
it, and once you change the inside, you don’t have to “try” to behave
differently. It will happen naturally, all by itself.
