No one likes to fail. But some people are so focused on the possibility of failure that they become over-anxious and unable to perform. Their fear of failure actually creates failure.
There are people who manage to sabotage their own efforts, often unconsciously, not because they are afraid of failure, but because they are afraid of success.
You see, we all carry around a mental picture of ourselves, and if success is not a part of that picture, we are in trouble. While a part of us wants success and all that goes with it, another part is silently saying, "That is not like me. I am not comfortable with this kind of responsibility," or something along those lines.
We may be perfectly capable of success in other ways, and we may have all the necessary skills and abilities. But it is like growing a pumpkin inside a jug. You can slip a flowering pumpkin vine inside a jug, and the pumpkin will grow to be jug-shaped. Later, you break the glass and you have a jug-shaped pumpkin.
You see, your picture of yourself, your self-concept, is like the glass jug. It tells you where your limits are. Techniques like affirmation and visualisation are used to help when you want to get a bigger jug or, in other words, when you want to comfortably stretch your idea of who you are and what you are capable of.
With practice, you can get to the place where neither failure nor success will upset you.
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