Positive Leadership: Being the Best You Can Possibly Be

Imagine being the best you could possibly be!

How often have you seen the line “creating an environment where staff can achieve their full potential”? It’s a great aspiration, that’s for sure, but what does it really mean and can it ever be possible? Well, we are all born with an innate capacity to learn, a sort of learning instinct, a playful spirit of enquiry and curiosity about who we are and how the world works, and this should never be underestimated, but as we progress through life blocks and barriers arise which limit and obscure the potential that lies within us. We are bruised by often brutal experiences in both work and education and we start to limit ourselves and the service we offer others in ways that are both conscious and unconscious.

So, how can we start to win this inner game? Back in 1975 Timothy Gallwey in his wonderful book The Inner Game of Tennis put forward in the form of an equation the simple but fascinating proposition that

POTENTIAL – INTERFERENCE = PERFORMANCE

This proposition challenges us to change our focus and our thinking. Rather than trying to push performance or naval-gaze at potential, it invites us instead to focus on the interference that inhibits the former and blocks the latter. Remove the interference and the other two can flow together. This can be a personal quest, a valuable piece of self-discovery, but it can also be the basis for an approach to leadership: liberating leadership which aims to set potential free by focussing on interference and which uses empathy, compassion and passion to move towards a more fully engaged workplace and learning environment.

There are four fundamental types of interference that block personal performance:

Low inspiration,

Self-limiting beliefs,

Deficit relationships,

Pain language.

Let us look briefly at each of these and share some ideas about how to win the inner game and the role of the liberating leader.

1. Low inspiration:  How often are we actively inspired? Inspired in a way that gives us life, fresh energy, enthusiasm, vigour and positivity? Inspired in a way that enables us to inspire others, perhaps? It can be a rare thing and certainly a quality of being that is hard to summon at will. Well, maybe Andy Murray’s historic success at SW19 in June was an example of collective inspiration. The FTSE 100 share index went up 1.1% the very next day after his Wimbledon Championship victory – as it always does after a great sporting success ( the ‘bulls’ have their day…). So, here are some steps you can take to combat low inspiration:

Find things that actively inspire you,

Visit them frequently,

Carry them with you all day long.

Developing a scrapbook of inspiration has never been easier with pictures, video clips, music and articles available to everyone on the internet. Start building your inspiration scrapbook today!

A liberating leader will look to tune-in to the things which inspire individuals, teams and even organisations. They will also openly share the things which inspire them.  In their approach to business planning and achieving change they will focus heavily on the inspiration that lies behind the initiative. They know that we are inspired by a dream not a plan and will look to make the ‘dream’ or vision a clear part of their dialogue around goals and performance.

2. Self-limiting beliefs: The beliefs we are looking at here are the things we tell ourselves about ourselves, our inner dialogue about what we can and cannot do and crucially what we are good at and what we are bad at. We all have a combination of supporting beliefs, based on our core values and successes, and limiting beliefs stemming from the outcomes and consequences we have experienced and also importantly the messages, often much repeated, given to us by significant players in our lives (parents, teachers, bosses, friends, partners, the media, community leaders, and so on).

Winning the inner game involves raising self-awareness regarding these limiting beliefs and challenging their origins, basis and validity. It involves challenging the troll under the bridge that says to our potential ‘you cannot cross’. This is not “you’ll believe a man can fly”-type stuff. For example, no matter how strong my beliefs it would clearly be a delusion to think that in my middle-years I could ever become an astronaut. These are beliefs about things within the sphere of the individual’s reality.

Stemming from a steadfast faith in human potential a liberating leader will work with individuals to raise awareness of self-limiting beliefs and release potential through coaching, great feedback, developing relationships and demonstrating personal commitment.

3. Deficit relationships:  Avoiding or transforming deficit relationships is a key way of keeping the flow of potential going. They seem friendly enough, these corridor conversations or chats over coffee, but they actually latch onto your negativity, double the feeling and take you lower. The catharsis is false, as the emotions are intensified rather than purged. These relationships are often cynical, deflating and uncaring. There is no winner, just a sharing of interference that makes doing challenging work/study more onerous than ever.

A liberating leader will look to set the tone in terms of creating relationships based on empathy, compassion and passion. These relationships are energising, inspiring and fulfilling and go beyond the difficulties of today. They are based on trust, respect, warmth and a desire to understand the emotional needs of others.

4. Pain language: The language we use, the language we choose to use, has a powerful impact on how we feel about ourselves and our performance. Our outer dialogue has a very strong influence over our inner dialogue and can become a source of interference. Pain language like I can’t… I have to… and it’s never going to happen… feeds through into our thoughts, beliefs and even values. They can create or reinforce self-limiting beliefs. Monitoring this dialogue, this choice of explanatory style, and moving from pain to power language will have a transformative effect. Moving from “I can’t” to “I choose not to” or from “I have to” to “I want to” is both empowering and enriching. It links demonstrably with the other three points covered so far.

A liberating leader will aim to lead with a narrative and a way of interacting that is all about power language. She or he will set out to model power language for colleagues in all directions, not just the immediate team, and will develop relationships on this basis.

So, just imagine…  Imagine these four transformations:

From low inspiration to carrying inspiration with you,

From self-limiting beliefs to empowering beliefs,

From deficit relationships to liberating relationships,

From pain to power language.

Imagine the interference this would reduce and imagine the potential it would release, and imagine working with a liberating leader committed to these principles.

When working with staff a liberating leader knows –

That we are inspired by a dream not a plan,

The importance of removing interference so that people can thrive, and

The value of creating organisations that people enjoy.

Positive Leadership: Being the Best You Can Possibly Be

Positive Leadership: Relationships

Excerpt of conversation between Daniel Goleman and George Kohlrieser on high performance leadership and relationship management - developing relationships and finding common bonds and goals.

Positive Leadership: Relationships

Positive Leadership: Commitment

Commitment is a key to success whether it's in a business, a personal relationship, professional growth, or in sports.

What made Larry Bird one of the best players in basketball? He was considered slow, and many thought he could not jump. Sometimes it almost looked like he was playing in slow motion. But Larry Bird succeeded as a player because he was totally dedicated to success. He practiced more, played harder, and had more mental toughness than most of his competitors. He got more out of his talents than almost anyone did.

The same was true with Tom Watson, the great golfer. Tom was nothing special at Stanford, considered just another kid on the team. But his coach still talks about him, saying, "I never saw anyone practice more."

You see, the difference in physical skills between athletes doesn't tell you much. It's the quality of their commitment that separates the good players from the great. People who are committed to success are willing to do whatever it takes, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. Everything they do reflects their commitment.

Ask yourself the following questions and think about your answers: "How strong is your commitment - to your career, your relationships, your personal growth? How much of your time and energy do you give these things? Do the results you get reflect your level of commitment?"

Positive Leadership: Commitment

Positive Leadership: Your Most Important 'Relationship'

The relationships we have with family and friends are generally the ones we value the most. They are an important part of the life of each of us. However, there is one relationship that is even more important, that governs all the others – and that is the relationship you have with yourself.

Every day of your life you send yourself thousands of mental messages that determine how you evaluate your own worth. The evaluation you make of your worth is what determines your level of self-esteem. Of course, the messages we receive from our family, friends, colleagues and others affect our self-esteem, too. But they send only a tiny fraction of the number of messages you do, so they don’t have the same opportunity to affect you. Besides, if you are continually sending yourself negative, devaluing appraisals, you will drown out the other messages, no matter how positive they might be. 

It is very important that you, yourself, become the source of these positive messages, or affirmations as they are sometimes called. When you take control of this process, the leverage you will gain from your “inside” position will make tremendous personal growth possible.

Unfortunately, many people spend much more time focusing on their faults and mistakes than they do on their strengths and successes. However, a positive focus can be learned. 

Positive Leadership: Your Most Important 'Relationship'

Positive Leadership: Supporting Change

A good rule to remember when it comes to relationships is, “What you see is what you get.” If we want to form lasting relationships with others, we must start by being happy with who the other person is. It is courting disaster when you bring thoughtless or angry people into your life assuming that under your influence they will change.

You see, what’s likely to happen is you will change your behaviour to accommodate them, rather than the other way around. Change is not something we can force on other people. Change comes from within. And, when people are pushed from outside forces, they push back.

If, in major ways, the people in our lives are not what we think they should be, nagging them or manipulations designed to get them to change is not the way to go. Change will never happen if we are certain we are always right, or if we believe that the fault lies always with the other person. Perhaps if we were to allow them the dignity of being who they are without our criticism, we might find change happening naturally of its own accord. 

One thing is certain. When we give up blaming and criticising, our relationships with others improve enormously. So does their self-esteem and feelings of competence. You see, we can help others to change, and support their own change efforts, but it’s just not helpful to try to choose their direction for them.

Positive Leadership: Supporting Change

Motivation

You won’t find Motivation 101 in most business schools; yet, the ability to motivate one’s team and organisation is one of the most important skills a leader must possess in today’s business climate.

The fact is the great recession has left its mark: employees are de-motivated. They are fearful, overworked, distrustful, and have less enthusiasm and passion than ever. And many leaders are continually frustrated by their team’s performance and low morale and engagement. The answer, doesn’t involve fancy technology, a new piece of equipment, or extensive R&D. The answer lies in a basic human emotion: motivation.

Now, more than ever, a leader’s job is to motivate and rally his or her team through challenging times. You can’t outsource motivation. It is the leader and manager who must motivate. That’s why motivational speeches don’t work by themselves but leaders who motivate do. 

Many leaders want to take the emotion out of business but that is a huge mistake. When fear and negativity are the primary emotions people in your organisation are feeling, you have to counter that with an even more powerful emotion, like faith, belief, and optimism. And your success in that depends on your ability to motivate.

In this spirit here are five strategies to motivate your team:

1. Don't be too busy to communicate. Recovery or no recovery, these are uncertain times. Employees are wondering what's going to happen next, whether their job will be impacted and what action to take. Unless managers and leaders fill that void with clear and positive communication, people will assume the worst and act accordingly. Don't let your busy schedule get in the way of taking the time to talk with your team.

2. Lead with optimism. The engine for an economy's growth and prosperity has always been a 'can-do' attitude and spirit. Unfortunately, in the past year, optimism has been in short supply. The most important weapon against pessimism is to transfer your optimism and vision to others. Leadership is a transfer of belief and your belief inspires others to think and act in ways that drive results.

3. Share the vision. It’s not enough to just be optimistic. You must give your team and organisation something to be optimistic about. Talk about where you have been, where you are, and where you are going. Share your plan for a brighter and better future, talk about the actions you must take, and constantly reiterate the reasons why you will be successful. Create a vision statement that inspires and rallies your team and organisation. Not a page-long vision statement filled with buzzwords, but a rallying cry that means something to the people who invest a majority of their day working for you. This vision statement can’t just exist on a piece of paper. It must come to life in the hearts and minds of your team So it’s up to you to share it, reinforce it, and inspire your people to live and breathe it every day. A positive vision for the future leads to powerful actions today.

4. Relationships build real motivation. It's much easier to motivate someone if you know them and they know you. After all, if you don't take the time to get to know the people who are working for you, then how can you ever truly know the best way to lead, coach, and motivate them effectively?

5. Create purpose-driven goals. Real motivation is driven by purpose and a desire to make a difference. When people feel as though the work they do is playing an integral role in the overall success of the organisation and the world, they are motivated to work harder.

Motivation

Holidays!

As it is the summer, we thought we would share 10 of the many sound business reasons to go on holiday — in addition to the fact that you deserve it and are supposed to enjoy your life and have some fun…

1. Going on holiday shows you are competent at your job because you can manage and plan enough to free up some time in your schedule, and not leave a festering mess in your absence. Not being able to take a holiday for years shows that your work and your team are so out of control that you can’t even be gone for a week.

2. No one is impressed that you have not had a holiday. If you think your company, or your team appreciates your extra-work ethic, they don’t.

3. Your team is motivated from seeing that you support and allow people to have a life — as long as you don’t send them email every day! Set the expectation you will be generally out of touch. Arrange 1-2 check-in points if you can’t stand to let go entirely, but don’t just go somewhere else and keep working.

4. Your team gets more productive when you go away. You give them a break from worrying about all the things you throw in their way when they are trying to get their work done. After about 2 weeks they will miss you and need you again, but in the mean time their productivity will actually go up.

5. Being unavailable is an effective technique for developing people. It forces them to step up. Just be careful not to un-do everything they did in your absence just because it was different than the way you would have done it.

6. If something comes up in your work that you can’t avoid and you need to cancel your holiday, reschedule another one while you are cancelling. This will minimise resentment and disappointment, give you something to look forward to… and ensure you don’t go too long without a holiday.

7. You will be more productive at work, if you step away from it and give your back-of-mind processes a chance to chew on things while you are otherwise in a good (or at least different!) mood.

8. You will realise that some of the things that you thought were important before your holiday don’t actually need to get done after all. When you step away, the most strategic things re-assert themselves and all the clutter drops several notches in volume.

9. Your company prefers people who enjoy their life because they have more positive energy to bring to their work.

10. You need a break whether you know it or not!

Holidays!

Increase your Self-Awareness to become a Better Leader

Too many leaders think they are adept at everything. Self-aware leaders know that they can't possibly have the skills and knowledge to do it all. Instead, they are dynamic, adaptable, and emotionally intelligent.

Here are three ways to build your own self-awareness:

1. Observe your own performance. Take note of the areas you excel in and those that need improvement. Share these observations with your team.
2. Know what you don't know. Accept that there are areas you have little expertise in. Seek out a team member who can help you fill in the gaps.
3. Monitor your impact on others. Because so much of our work is about relationships, knowing how you affect others is a critical leadership skill. Manage your emotional responses and look for cues that you're building relationships, not destroying them.

Increase your Self-Awareness to become a Better Leader

Why a Collaborative Culture is Essential in Business

Business leaders around the world are increasingly realising that "silo mentality" and knowledge hoarding behaviours are wasting the kind of collective brainpower that could save their organisation millions, or lead to the discovery of a revolutionary new process or product, or, in the current economic climate, help keep their company afloat when others are sinking!

And it's not just corporate profits that suffer when collaboration is low: the workforce loses something too. Individuals lose the opportunity to work in the kind of inclusive environment that energises teams, releases creativity and makes working together both productive and joyful.

Here are seven insights for harnessing the power of collaboration:

1. Collaboration is a leadership issue. In trying to capture and communicate the cumulative wisdom of a workforce, the public and private sectors have invested hundreds of millions of dollars in portals, software, and intranets. But collaboration is more than the technology that supports it, and even more than a business strategy aimed at optimising an organisation's experience and expertise. Collaboration is, first and foremost, a change in attitude and behaviour of people throughout an organisation. Successful collaboration is a leadership issue.

2. Collaboration is essential for organisational change. Regardless of how creative, clever and savvy a leader may be, he or she can't transform an organisation, a department or a team without the brain power and commitment of others. Whether the change involves creating new products, services, processes – or a total reinvention of how the organisation must look, operate, and position itself for the future – success dictates that the individuals impacted by change be involved in the change from the very beginning. 

3. Visioning is a team sport. Today's most successful leaders guide their organisations not through command and control, but through a shared purpose and vision. These leaders adopt and communicate a vision of the future that impels people beyond the boundaries and limits of the past. But if the future vision belongs only to top management, it will never be an effective motivator for the workforce. The power of a vision comes truly into play only when the employees themselves have had some part in its creation.

4. Diversity is crucial. Experiments at the University of Michigan found that, when challenged with a difficult problem, groups composed of highly adept members performed worse than groups whose members had varying levels of skill and knowledge. The reason for this seemingly odd outcome has to do with the power of diverse thinking. Diversity causes people to consider perspectives and possibilities that would otherwise be ignored. Group members who think alike or are trained in similar disciplines with similar bases of knowledge run the risk of becoming insular in their ideas. Instead of exploring alternatives, a confirmation bias takes over and members tend to reinforce one another's predisposition.

5. Relationships are key. The outcome of any collaborative effort is dependent upon well-developed personal relationships among participants. Not allowing time for this can be a costly mistake. For example, all too often, in the rush to get started on a project, team leaders put people together and tell them to "get to work." This approach proves less than productive, as the group hasn't had time to get to know one another, to discover each other's strengths and weaknesses, to build trust, nor to develop a common understanding and vision for the project.

6. Trust is the glue. Trust is the belief or confidence that one party has in the reliability, integrity and honesty of another party. It is the expectation that the faith one places in someone else will be honoured. In many businesses today, there is a crisis of trust: suspicious and cynical employees are disinclined to collaborate – sharing knowledge is still perceived as weakening a personal "power base." And, despite lots of lip service to the contrary, too many corporate leaders still don't trust employees with the kind of open communication that is the foundation of informed collaboration.

7. Body language matters.  Leaders often make "body language blunders".  For example, have you ever been in an important meeting, and heard the presenter telling the group how much he welcomed any input the group could provide? But at the same time he was using both his hands to nonverbally push the entire group away!

Today's corporation exists in an increasingly complex and ever-shifting ocean of change. As a result, leaders need to rely more than ever on the intelligence and resourcefulness of their staff. Collaboration is not a "nice to have" organisational philosophy. It is an essential ingredient for organisational survival and success.

Why a Collaborative Culture is Essential in Business

Encouraging a 'Check-Six' Culture in Business

US Air Force fighter pilot Rob “Waldo” Waldman learned how to overcome fear, anxiety, and self-doubt to fly combat missions that pushed him to his limits by disciplined training and the help of his wingmen. Wingmen are people with different backgrounds, skills, and experiences unified under one agreement—to never think or act alone.

A wingman watches your back. In Never Fly Solo: Lead with Courage, Build Trusting Partnerships, and Reach New Heights in Business, Waldo threads real world experiences to encourage the development of a check-six culture. Check-six refers to the six o’clock position where the jet is most vulnerable—the pilot’s blind spot.

Waldo says, “There is a limit to how much you can learn on your own. A good wingman will give you mission-critical feedback, catch your errors, ask questions, and propose challenging scenarios to push you to grow in your skills and mental discipline.” Encouraging others to look out for our blind spots requires a great deal of mutual trust. “These trusted partners, male or female, are your wingmen.”

Of course, this means first, not being afraid to acknowledge that you need help and then being able to ask for it. This is all the more difficult if you haven’t built trust in yourself and invested the time to build trusting relationships with others. You’ve got to “walk the flight line.” Get out and build relationships with those people you work with—treating each other as people first and coworkers second. “It’s the relationships we build and the people whom we trust that give us the courage to take risks and make ourselves better.”

By being willing to say, “I don’t know,” or “I messed up,” we create a transparency that will attract others to us and “create the type of environment where people won’t be afraid to make mistakes. They will also be more likely to check your six as well.”

Additionally, we have to keep our “radar sweeping for a wingman, coworker, or peer who may be experiencing a challenging time in her life. Don’t let her get isolated.” Be supportive and find her some help if necessary.” It is the worker that keeps to themselves—trying to fly solo—that check out, become unmotivated, complacent and careless. “Never feeling invested in the company’s mission, they do the minimum, and everyone suffers.”

In today’s environment, communication, feedback, and mutual support are critical Waldo says because:

•Human beings make mistakes.

•We each have a limited perspective.

•We operate in stressful environments that lead to tunnel vision and task saturation.

•Most professionals undervalue communication and teamwork.

•Faulty communication can kill a mission as well as a relationship.

•Errors increase when there is no definable set of teamwork standards and skills.

“An effective check-six environment frees up communication and removes barriers to growth, so that all members of the team feel empowered to speak up and ask questions.” It also builds team confidence.

We all need wingmen and the best way to find a wingman is to be one!

Encouraging a 'Check-Six' Culture in Business

Who Would You Rather Follow?

Admired for her beauty, Jennie Jerome (Winston Churchill's mother) glided through the loftiest social circles. Once, on consecutive nights, she dined with Britain's premier politicians: Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and his chief rival, William Gladstone. When questioned about her impressions of the two men, Ms. Jerome made the following observation:

"When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman."

Perhaps you know leaders like Gladstone—confident individuals who exude wit, intelligence, and charisma. Whenever you're around them, you cannot help but notice their charm…because they make every effort to parade their brilliance in front of you. However, you would most likely prefer to follow someone like Disraeli, a leader who would rather draw out the best in you than strut his or her personal greatness.

In relationships, be impressed with others instead of trying to make an impression. Throttle back on the urge to make your presence felt, and instead look for ways to esteem those around you. By expressing genuine interest in the people in your life, you'll win friends and gain favour.

Who Would You Rather Follow?

If you have to announce that you are the leader - YOU’RE NOT!

Leadership is often viewed as the “up-front” position or that leaders are the people in charge. Such thoughts are both dangerous and reflect a poor understanding of who leaders truly are or how effective leadership functions. Leaders are public people but that is not always by design or even a requirement for an effective leader. Some of the greatest leaders are not public people – they are influencers and consensus builders who linger in the shadows allowing others to have the face of the leader. Leadership is about influence and relationships. If you have neither, you are not the leader of the group–regardless of title or position. When you get to the point where you have to remind people that you are leader — you’re not!

If you have to announce that you are the leader - YOU’RE NOT!

Leadership Development

Economic turmoil. Global competition. Shrinking markets and margins. Layoffs, increasing cynicism and mistrust.

These difficult times require exceptional leadership.

We understand the challenges leaders at all levels face in staying true to their personal convictions, acting swiftly in times of uncertainty, being accountable for the business - and all the while inspiring others to greatness.

Although traditional management skills and business competence get executives promoted, research indicates that being trustworthy, showing empathy and creating meaning are the characteristics that differentiate truly exceptional leaders.

It’s not an either-or proposition. These leaders integrate what appear to be paradoxical leadership characteristics of Competence and Connection:

• Business Aptitude and Trustworthiness
• Internal Attunement and External Attunement
• Clarity and Depth
• Responsibility and Empathy

These leaders also modify their behaviour to respond to the needs of their followers and the circumstances they encounter – while simultaneously remaining true to who they are. They don’t try to emulate celebrity CEOs or bosses they admire. They understand that leadership is a relationship with their followers.

Leadership Development

Leadership is Plural

Here is a thought which underpins our thinking at Positive Leadership Limited. The quote comes from Ed Batisita of the Stanford Graduate School of Business:

'Leadership isn't derived from titles or status, and being in a leadership position doesn't automatically make you a leader. (You may be able to use positional power to enforce your will, but that is not leading.) Conversely, the lack of a formal position doesn't mean you lack opportunities to lead. Organizations need leaders at every level, not merely among the ranks of senior management.'

With this in mind, building powerful relationships at work is therefore a complex process which means:

• Quickly getting all relevant information and perspectives on the table
• Surfacing problems directly and fully to reach quality outcomes
• Providing (and inviting!) feedback that strengthens performance
• Influencing others (particularly when you have no formal authority)
• Working through conflicts without damaging relationships
• Expanding selfknowledge and adapting behaviors as situations require.

Leadership is Plural